The Dodo Has Landed

Well, I finally made it. I have successfully transferred myself to the Midwest. To Peru, Indiana to be exact. It was a bit of a sojourn, but I suppose it wouldn't suit the epic nature of this epic research road trip if it was all easy-peasy.


To be fair, it wasn't really all that harrowing. The minor bumps in the road didn't stray far from the usual United Airlines shenanigans. I should have expected it, since every time I take United it seems that things go awry. This time it was particularly farcical though: my fellow travelers and I boarded the plane efficiently and swiftly, only to find out that our flight crew was nowhere to be found! It turned out that they had been delayed. I guess even United Airlines crew members aren't immune from United Airlines shenanigans. We sat in the plane for an hour and a half, watching an Adele concert and getting unlimited cups of water, which caused unlimited waiting in lines for the little plane toilets, all the while waiting for the people who fly our plane to, well, show up and fly our plane. They showed up and we eventually got to Chicago. Though it set me back a bit, there was no real turmoil involved. Pretty humdrum in terms of a harrowing beginning (in retrospect I think I should have amped up the drama). 


Anyway, then I hopped a shuttle over to the rental car place to grab my car. I am now the proud temporary owner of a KIA SOUL...Yeah, I've never heard of it either. It's a little boxy thing, kind of a Honda Fit knockoff. It works. It has air conditioning and a CD player. That's really all I care about. So, of course, I named her (usually my cars are male but this little silver diva seems a little too femme). So, I've dubbed her Aretha (think soul). 


Once I got the keys, me and Aretha hit the wide open road, setting out for the wacky, wonderful world of the Midwest. 

Aretha and I blazing trails through Indiana

During my drive, this is what I have learned about Indiana so far:


1) Indiana loves its toll roads:

First of many.

This is no puppy love, kids. Indiana loves tolls so much, they want to expand the definition of marriage to honor the deep love they have for charging people fees to cross over arbitrary borderlines on their roadways. In the three-hour drive from Chicago to Peru, Indiana, I had to pay FOUR tolls. Granted, they all pretty much added up to one Bay Bridge toll fee, but still. Definitely a cultural difference.


2) Indiana loves its corn:
I had been expecting to see corn in the Midwest. The Midwest and corn are kind of synonymous. But, actually seeing all that corn, and when I say "all that corn" I mean EVERY SINGLE stretch of green on the side of the freeway turned out to be a cornfield. I guess I'll have no problem reliving my favorite scene from "North by Northwest" (a.k.a. my secret ulterior motive for coming to the Midwest).


3) The Pastoral Ideal is Alive and Well in Indiana:

One of many picturesque farmhouses along the freeway, albeit a terrible picture of one (see below). 

Probably only my dear friend, Casey Carroll, will get this, or anyone who has read or heard my dear friend Casey Carroll's master's thesis. Basically what I mean by this is that the iconic Americana image of the red farmhouse and barn sitting quaintly upon verdant pasture is everywhere in Indiana. The number of quaint little farms that looked like they'd jumped right off the side of an organic cereal box boggled my mind. Basically, you can't swing an ear of corn in Indiana without hitting a picturesque farmhouse...or another ear of corn for that matter.


4)Indiana is in a Different Time Zone Than Chicago:
I'm sure some of you already knew this, and I'm sure I probably SHOULD have known this, but, well, I guess I'm pretty ignorant about the Midwest. Just like I didn't know that Nebraska and Indiana weren't right next to each other until I drew the map for my trip, I didn't know that Indiana was on Eastern time until I drove from Chicago to Indiana and looked at my phone's clock (which said 9:08) and looked at Aretha's dashboard clock (which said 8:08). Actually, that's not even the whole story. I actually called my mom, who coincidentally, happens to be in Nebraska at the moment, and had to ask her what time it was there. Which actually didn't help at all because Nebraska, like Illinois, is also in a different time zone from Indiana. But my mom is smarter than me and she corrected my confusion. Anyway, the point of this ramble is this: I have experienced different time zones, and jet lag, and even the weird bodily and scheduling hiccups of daylight savings, but driving for less than an hour and realizing that I was in a different time zone...well that just tripped me out. I'm still discombobulated by it all (thus why I am still up at 1a.m. Indiana time).


Another random epiphany I had on the road was this: it is really difficult to photo document a road trip when you're road tripping by yourself. This acts as a disclaimer/apology for why my photos are kind of sparse and lame. By the time I would notice something cool (for example, the massive, and maybe portentous, billboard for the "Lion's Den Adult Superstore," or perhaps the uncanny Kanye lookalike changing a tire on the side of the 90E), and had struggled to balance steering wheel and camera phone, I would have already long passed the aforementioned cool thing.  


After much discombobulation and perilous car photography, I made it to Peru, Indiana, where I settled into the Cole Porter Inn. Yes, you read correctly: I am actually staying in the childhood home of Cole Porter, famed composer. Even better: I'm staying in the "Anything Goes Suite." 

Nothing says "Anything Goes" like a piano rug. That and a hand painted sign that literally says "Anything Goes."

You can't make this kinda shit up. As corny as it sounds though, the Anything Goes Suite is swank city. For about the price of a Motel 6 back home, or maybe a Radisson, I have my own apartment, essentially. Bedroom,

The boudoir

 kitchen, 

Anachronistic kitchen

bathroom (with clawfooted tub), living room, sun room, reading nook. And it is decked out in weird and wonderful period regalia (as you can see from the pictures). 

In case your bathroom business is a black tie affair

The place is chock full of all kinds of treasures, both hidden and visible. 

Hidden in a nearly empty cupboard, I found three records. Cole Porter hits of course. If only there was a record player.

I arrived around 10pm and basically spent the next couple hours nosing around in all the drawers and playing dress up with all the hats and furs and things, until I figured it was about time to set the silliness aside and update the blog so that you all know that I'm still alive. Ta Da! I made it. 


Now to bed, and to leave you with the blackmail pictures of my dolly dress up moment in the Anything Goes Suite. Shh...don't tell the Cole Porter Inn. What happens in the Anything Goes Suite, stays in the Anything Goes Suite!

I should be embarrassed, but I'm not.

Today's driving soundtrack was brought to me by:
-Josh Izenberg's, "Good Travels" Mix: Leonard Cohen, The  Embassy, A.A.Bondy, The War on Drugs, Japandroids, Destroyer, Arms, Real Estate, Cloud Nothings, and the Feelies.
-Calvin Kan's, "The Circus Can't Take the Animal Outta Me" Mix (paraphrased title): complete list of artists to be added after more listenings (and possibly after Calvin gives me a list of the tracks, wink wink nudge nudge), but I definitely heard some David Byrne on there.
-The Black Keys, "El Camino."